Les quatre souhaits de Saint Martin

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A peasant was in Normandy
I will not fail to tell you
A marvelous and skilful fable.
4 Every day the peasant was acquainted with
St. Martin, and every day he called upon him
For every deed he did;
Never was he sorrowful or happy
8 That St. Martin didn’t go first:
Every day he called St. Martin.
One morning he was goingTo work; as he was used to doing,
12 He didn’t want to forget St. Martin.
“St. Martin,” he says, “go before!”
Thus St. Martin came before him:
“Peasant,” he says, “you have held me dear:
16 You will never want to begin anything
That each day at the beginning
You do not call me first.
I will give you what you desire:
20 Leave your work and your herd,
And be joyful and gay.
I will give you four wishes.
You will never need to work again,
24 Or in the morning get up, or stay up late.
Now go off again happily:
I tell you truly,
That which you wish for
28 For four times, you will have it.
Watch out for your wishes,
You cannot take them back!”
The peasant bowed down.
32 And went back
To his lodging and was happy.
He will be advised poorly.
His wife, who wore the pants
36 Said to him, “Peasant, you had a bad day!
Did you leave your work so early
because of the weather that’s a little overcast?
There will not be dinner until 5 leagues.
40 Is it to stuff your cheeks?
You have foraged for nothing
Never liked work.
You are always ready to party,To your misfortune have beasts
When you don’t take advantage!
You went off just now,
44 Soon you’ve finished your day.”
46 “Shhh, beautiful sister. Don’t be unhappy,”
said the peasant, “We are rich.
48 From now on the burdens will
fall and the work, I predict!
Today I met St. Martin
And he gave me 4 wishes.
52 None of them has been wished
Before I spoke to you.
According to what you will advise,
I ask you quickly:
56 Land, riches, gold and silver!”
When she heard, she runs and hugs him.
Much was she humbled in his words.
“My friend, do you tell the truth?”
60 “Yes, beautiful sister, it’s the truth.”
–“yay!” she says, “fair sweet friend,
I earlier gave you all my heart.
Now I ask you, please
64 That you give me one wish:
The other three will be yours,
And you will do well by me!”
“Be quiet,” he says, “beautiful sister,
68 I will not do that at all!
Women have crazy thoughts:
Soon you’ll ask for distaff,
Wool needed or hemp.
72 Well I remember St. Martin,
Who said that I should guard myself
That I should ask for things
Which could be of use.
76 I will wish all of them;
Because you know that I fear
That I grant you a wish
That you would say so much
82 That we would not enjoy.
I do not know your way:
If you will say that I should be
A goat or a mare,
84 I would be it.
For this I fear your granting!”
–“Now this is,” she said, “of good faith!
I assure you with my two hands
88 That you will always be a peasant:
For me you will have no other form.
Now I love you more than any other man.”
—“Beautiful sister,” he says, “Now you’ll have it!
92 For God, wish for such a thing
Where we might have virtue.”
“I tell you,” she says, “by God,
That you should be so full of dicks;
96 Let not there remain eye nor nostril
Nor head nor arm nor side
That is not planted with pricks.
Let each on have its own balls
100 And don’t let them be flaccid.
Always may they be erect
So that you would appear horned.
And as soon as she said it
104 The dicks leapt out of the peasant
And they jumped out by the nose
And by the mouth nearby.
And now you can hear great marvels:
108 The dicks jumped out of his ears
Behind, down, and up
And in front of the forehead.
Literally downhill to the feet
112 Was the peasant covered,
Was horned with pricks.
From all parts was he well dressed:
On him, many a squared cock
116 And big, fat, with foreskin pulled.
Many white, many black, and many red.
Well would one throw into the eye (of the penis)
a bean in full flight.
120 It did not stop, just to the scrotum
of the balls that hung below!
It was such a good wish!
There were many pricks, and long and fat;
124 On the peasant, he did not have a bone
From which a marvelous prick did not jut.
Dicks came out of his knees!
When the peasant saw himself he said:
128 “Sister,” he said, “This is not well done!
Why have you fitted me out thus?
I would prefer to be killed
Than to have so many dicks on me!
132 Never did any man have so many pricks!”
“Sire,” she says, “I’m telling you
That a single dick is worth nothing to me.
Always as soft as an intestine;
But now I’m rich in hard penises!
And if I had another wish,
136 That you would go in this place
where you  ….
I have wished a wise wish
And you must not be angry:
140 You are a marvelous beast!”
The pleasant says, “This weighs on me.
Now I will wish, by faith!
Je re-wish,” says the good man,
144 That you are covered with as many cunts
As I have dicks on me:
As many cunts on you!”
There was the woman,
148 She had a cunt on her face,
Four on her forehead, side to side,
Cunts behind and cunts in front,
Cunts in front, and cunts behind,
152 And she had cunts of all kinds:
Straight, crooked, with white hair,
Cunts without hair and with hair
And young cunts and well made
156 Virgin and retired
Deep and crooked
Long cunts, and cunts without a hump,
She had cunts from head to feet!
160 Thus was the peasant happy!
“Sire,” she says, “what have you done?
Why have you given me such a wish?
Why have you upset me so?
164 I would rather not be seen!
“I will tell you,” says the good man,
Now I am rich in good cunts,
As you are rich in pricks.
168 Now is the game split
Now each prick has its pouch
She was irritated,
and she says, “May you have misfortune!
172 “Sister,” he says, “don’t be dismayed,
When you go in the street
You will not be known!”
“Sire,” she says, “now I won’t go.
176 We’ve lost two wishes.
Wish that you don’t have any more dicks,
Nor I cunts, and let it be:
One wish will remain,
180 We’ll be rich and well off.”
And the man wished and said
That she would not have cunts nor him pricks.
Thus was the woman angered
184 That she couldn’t find her cunt,
And the good man, when he looked again,
He could not find his dick
And was upset on his part.
188 “Sire,” she says, “wish
– the fourth wish we still have –
That you have a dick and I have a cunt.
Then it will be like before,
192 And we won’t have lost anything.”
And the good man wished again;
He neither lost nor won,
Because his dick came back to him,
196 But he had lost his wishes…
Much severely he repented
For what his wife did.He that believes in his wife more than himself
200 Often has boredom in his heart.
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